We are at that age now, my boyfriend and I, where (among other things) the term “boyfriend” should not be unacceptable. I should start over and call him my …what? My partner? We are not gay or living together so that seems misleading. My fiancé? He did surprise me with a lovely diamond ring but it came without a proposal for marriage. I could be more hip and call him “my honey”, “my man”, or “my guy”. None of those feels quite right or very wrong, unless we are in casual company.

In Italy, people of a certain age use the term “fidanzato” or “fidanzata”, which signifies a serious relationship between two adults without a declared path to the altar. Do we have an equivalent in English? None that I’ve found. Help! What are the rest of the grown-ups doing?